Happily Ever After....

You remember after watching Sex and the City with your girlfriends, you couldn't help but worry. Charlotte has pretty much echoed what you were afraid of for the past few months... If perfection seems to be a possibility, and happily ever after a reality - can life be too good to be true?

Despite constant rantings about being sent into exiled you are still a proud carrying memeber of team annoyingly optimist. A torch you've had lit ever since january of last year. And it's scary to think that maybe, just maybe this string of good luck is about to end. SOON.

Your boyfriend calls you QP - Queen Paranoia (yes, that deluded Panda of a boy thinks QP is a term of endearment) Because even with badge of optimism at hand, you still get anxious that something dreadful will happen. Why do we worry so much? If everything is going as we want it to be, why not just accept it? And stop being so fearful of the unknown? Maybe some people have that ability. You seem totally incapable of just letting go.

Not to say that everything has been turning up roses for you for the past fifteen months or so. Hmmm being diagnosed with GERD, having to endure pride swallowing scoldings by random tinderas, shuttling back and forth for hours on end with epic like hunger-growling stomach....but you guess it's true - that things are a lot easier when you know someone will always be there to hold your hands through it all. To say you smell good despite feeling like a rugrat. To love you unconditionally despite all your limitations.

And you guess, therein lies your problem. From where you are coming from, it's hard to believe that a year and three months ago, you were sitting by Figaro with friends and labelling yourself the "plague of misery" (you have a flair for drama) and now you have promptly decided to adopt other colors in the rainbow. Can a change of hand be that quick? Can you trust that it's forever?

And yet, when you look into his eyes you realized - laughter, anger, passion, despair - in any shades of grey - this is where you want to be. This is where you are free.

In that sense - you know you have found your happily ever after.